Author: Brandon

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Hillary Clinton Gulping for Air; Jack O’Neil; and Commander Sheridan

From the archives of the totally useless…

While looking through my documents folder on my hard drive, trying to find something important, I came across this little piece I started writing in August of 2003:

Colonel O’Neil didn’t know what to do so he sat there dumbfounded.

“The Storm Troopers will find us her very soon,” Data advised. “We should move out of here as quickly as possible.”

Captain Sheridan held up a hand. “We can’t leave without her!”

Sean Hannity sighed. “Then you stay here and get caught.” Everyone knew that Sean didn’t care much for Hillary Clinton. “For all we know, she’s working for the Peacekeepers!”

“How dare you…” Sheridan lunged for Sean Hannity’s throat.

“Would you two knock it off!” O’Neil demanded.

“My tricorder shows four lifesigns headed this way,” Data said. “It is likely that they are Storm Troopers.”

“Oh for crying out loud,” an exasperated O’Neil said as he readied his P9 automatic rifle.

“Show yourselves, rebel scum!” a Trooper shouted as they opened fire. Blaster fire hit all around the four rebels.

This was no time for political arguments. The four misfits quickly responded to the attack with their various weapons… Sean Hannity’s musket, Colonel O’Neil’s P9, Captain Sheridan’s PPG and Data’s phaser all fired simultaneously, making quick work of the four Peacekeeper Storm Troopers. “I’m sure more will be on the way,” Sean Hannity said.

Suddenly, behind them, Hillary Clinton ran up, gulping for air. “I got away as soon as I could. I couldn’t believe they found you. Is it true?” She gulped for more air. Sean Hannity sighed.

“Let’s go!” Captain Sheridan yelled. They all ran towards the shuttle. “If they know we’re here, they’ll find the Enterprise in orbit soon enough!”

A little heavy on the sci-fi references, I’ll admit. But that “gulping for air” bit still cracks me up.

Yes… too many obscure references to bother completing the story. LOL.

Spammers lose; Earthlink Wins

EarthLink Claims Victory in Spam Case: “The group used stolen or forged credit cards and engaged in identity theft to set up EarthLink accounts that were then used to send spam…”

What I don’t get is how can someone make money spamming people while hiding their identity. Don’t you need people to be able to, like, send you money or something? One way or another, if spam is supposed to actually make money for the spammer, there has to be a trail to follow, right? Besides, who would refinance their home with someone who spells “mortgage” “m.0rtg_aaaagE” anyway?

Text Ads and Click Fraud: A cost of doing business?

The explosion of content-relevant text ads on websites (even I use them on this site) has been very profitable for advertisers, content providers, and ad networks such as Overture and Google AdWords. But there is now a serious problem with “fraudulent clicking,” which amounts to stealing money from the advertiser. And unfortunately, there isn’t much that can be done about it. [Article]

My Continuous Ink System: A Review

I’ve neglected my blog this month. However, today I have an interesting new review to post: my review of a Continuous Ink System for my Epson R200 printer. Are you sick of ink cartridges that are priced as if they contain liquid gold? I am. So a Continuous Ink System may be the solution for you — read my review to see how it worked for me.

On a related note, I really like this Epson R200. I use it primarily for printing directly on inkjet printable CD-ROMs and DVDs. No more cheesy printer labels and stompers; no more sharpie pens!